Welcome to another addition of tales from the asylum.

Just five days after former ISIS head-chopper turned Trinny and Suzanna makeover recipient, Ahmed al-Sharaa was welcomed to the UK with open arms by Prime Minister Keir Starmer, and Jimmy Savile’s mate, King Charles, American music icon ‘Ye’, formally Kanye West, has been banned from performing here or even entering the country.

‘Ye’ famously spouted  abhorrent and unfounded conspiracy theories about the power wealthy members of the Jewish community have over the entertainment industry, media, and even government.

Hopefully now the sold out Wireless Festival, that he was scheduled to headline, has been cancelled, and he has been banned from even entering the country as a result of those comments, he realises how wrong he was about the power of wealthy members of the Jewish community,

Beg for forgiveness, young man.

You won’t get it, but beg none the less.

It’s not all bad news within the perimeter walls of the mad house, however.

King Trump has managed to negotiate a two week ceasefire between the US, Israel, and Iran, leading to the reopening of the Hormuz Strait.

Oil prices are already plummeting, so in a era that has felt distinctly short of victories, we’ll take them when we can get them.

Plus, it gives us a few days to theorise what manufactured event will be used as the excuse to kick it all off again.

I say kick it all off again as if the fighting has come to an end. It hasn’t.

Israel is still bombing Iran and a senior Israeli minister has told the Associated Press that they will continue to do so.

The Israelis have also made no secret of the fact that they will continue to bomb, invade, and eventually steal Lebanon.

Apparently God promised them the land 3000 years ago, but didn’t have the foresight to stop other civilisations being born there, and making it their ancestral homeland.

A homeland they now have to be physically kicked out of with great suffering and loss of life, the result.

Seems strange, but then I suppose it’s like when wealthy parents still make their kids get a paper round, when financially they really don’t need to.

“You have to earn the Greater Israel, son. No more Manna from heaven.”

Maybe the manna had to pass through the Strait of Hormuz, and it’s been tied up in the shipping queue.

On the upside, at least we didn’t wake up to the end of civilization. That in itself is a bonus.

I suppose you could suggest the world stopped being civilised a very long time ago, but King Trump’s recent social media post, because that’s how Presidents communicate now, did have everyone fearing the worst.

Trump posted “A whole civilisation will die tonight, never to be brought back again”, alluding to a catastrophic attack on the Iranians.

This, of course, had the Israeli’s salivating with Channel 13 news running a countdown clock to tick away to the end of a nation of nearly 95 million people.

Thankfully the countdown came and went, without the end of days annihilation the world had started to fear.

But of course, without meaning to come across as a neg Nelly, this is just a pause in proceedings, an interval in the theatre production, because as Julian Assange famously stated in 2011, the goal is an endless war.

But they can’t promote or even admit their goal of an endless war because when you strip the people of their hope completely, you create a population of people that feel like they have nothing to lose.

Can’t get any worse than endless war and suffering, right? So you need to provide the odd off ramp, even if you know you are jumping straight back on the war path, at the next junction.

You need to give the people a chance to breathe, to believe the good times are within reach, to release a valve that will stop them snapping, and rising up.

I spoke about this a couple of weeks ago. How, in the carrot and the stick analogy, you don’t want the carrot to be reached, but you also don’t want it to disappear from sight, because the second it does, people cease to follow it.

“Peace is just around the corner” is the new “two weeks to flatten the curve”.

If they had stated in March 2020 that it was two years to flatten the curve, that unreachable carrot would not have been followed for long.

Another aspect at play here, is making the people fear something infinitely worse than what you intend, so that when you offer what you really want, the people see it as a victory and accept it, when without the fear of something infinitely worse, they wouldn’t have.

So I make the guy believe he’s going to get a glass ashtray to the face, and so he’s relieved when he only gets a slap.

But the guy has still got a slap, and in the case of humanity right now, it’s a case of waiting to see what that slap is.